Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sometimes You Just Don't Know

Grieving the loss of a family member, can sometimes be soothed with remembering events during happier times.

We've been cleaning out our garage, well, in all honesty, my dh has been cleaning out the side with his treasures gathered over the years. We haven't gotten to his baseball cards quite yet, and it has been an inspiration to see how easily he is releasing things. I have definite issues about letting go of things with emotional memories, or anything with more than a square inch of possibility left in it.

So when we were working on listing one of these items for ebay, it came as a small shock to me, when he wanted to list his knife and pouch for it. So many of my memories as a young wife include that knife and pouch. Camping, fishing, coming home from camp with his extra cute tan...wearing shorts and knee socks in uniform left some strange untanned areas. :) In all those times, that faithful knife, snug at his belt waited to be used, and was many times. He thinks of it as  "opened more boxes with it than anything else" knife. And of course, he is most likely right. We sure had lots to open unpacking in the move to this home we've been in for the last (impossible but true) eleven years.

It sold today, so before it gets packed up to be shipped away, I wanted to officially wish it God speed. My dh says the guy collects all kinds of Swiss Army style knives. Hope it doesn't go into a box in his garage. The knife might like retirement from use, but I prefer to remember it on my husband's belt, then off to  sharpen a branch for a hot dog stick.  That isn't a made up memory...

So sometimes you just don't know when the grief of losing a spouse may begin. We are still in each others' way, smiling, snarling, and hugging. Parting most often with "luv you!" or now with Livvie about it is more likely to be "later gator"... I hope that won't change for years, because I could bearly stand the loss of his old knife and pouch. Silly old bear.

7 comments:

Farm Girl said...

That is so sweet. It is true. I think about it all the time. I read about a woman who had teased her husband about an expensive shirt he had bought one time and it stayed in his top drawer never wore and she buried him in it kicking herself about teasing him and wishing she hadn't. I have thought and thought about that. I met my husband when I was 17, he has always been my best friend, I would be so lost.
Thanks for sharing.
I don't think I could have got rid of the knife.

Jaja said...

Sweet.

Primitives By The Light of The Moon said...

You are one kind~hearted woman and your not afraid to let your love shine through and that puts a smile in my heart :) ....I'm glad your a silly old bear!

Cotton Eyed Jo said...

How blessed I am in my friends.

Kim, the knife and pouch are his to keep or sell or throw in the trash, and could never replace the memories anyway. I was feeling pretty sentimental about old times and now. :)

Julia said...

Jo, I love your post today. It makes me think about the little bit of time we have left together. Although I'm not the sentimental type, I can relate to what you are saying.

Have a great weekend. JB

PrisNasonShartle said...

Your memories of the knife are precious....present in you or your dh's life is not important...what is are the memories. My Boy Scout son, Daniel is not without is knife. Everytime he pulls it out, I remember with pride his love for Scouting. Some things never go away...thanks for sharing, my friend.

Doris said...

I love silly old bears. I would have bought that knife back!! Sometimes its the little things that mean the most.