Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sometimes You Just Don't Know

Grieving the loss of a family member, can sometimes be soothed with remembering events during happier times.

We've been cleaning out our garage, well, in all honesty, my dh has been cleaning out the side with his treasures gathered over the years. We haven't gotten to his baseball cards quite yet, and it has been an inspiration to see how easily he is releasing things. I have definite issues about letting go of things with emotional memories, or anything with more than a square inch of possibility left in it.

So when we were working on listing one of these items for ebay, it came as a small shock to me, when he wanted to list his knife and pouch for it. So many of my memories as a young wife include that knife and pouch. Camping, fishing, coming home from camp with his extra cute tan...wearing shorts and knee socks in uniform left some strange untanned areas. :) In all those times, that faithful knife, snug at his belt waited to be used, and was many times. He thinks of it as  "opened more boxes with it than anything else" knife. And of course, he is most likely right. We sure had lots to open unpacking in the move to this home we've been in for the last (impossible but true) eleven years.

It sold today, so before it gets packed up to be shipped away, I wanted to officially wish it God speed. My dh says the guy collects all kinds of Swiss Army style knives. Hope it doesn't go into a box in his garage. The knife might like retirement from use, but I prefer to remember it on my husband's belt, then off to  sharpen a branch for a hot dog stick.  That isn't a made up memory...

So sometimes you just don't know when the grief of losing a spouse may begin. We are still in each others' way, smiling, snarling, and hugging. Parting most often with "luv you!" or now with Livvie about it is more likely to be "later gator"... I hope that won't change for years, because I could bearly stand the loss of his old knife and pouch. Silly old bear.